Babies are like...

I've started a new series of graphics comparing babies to various pop culture figures. It's my way of coping with the unexpected discoveries of new fatherhood.
Babies are like...

Post Partum (Dad)

Okay, so we're a little late in posting to the blog since Lucas Franklin was born on December 17th, 2009. I could write about any number of things, and perhaps, if the little guy gives us a breather once in a while, we'll try to do so. For now, I thought it would be appropriate to simply state that mother and child are doing quite well and daddy couldn't be happier. Danielle's spending this week home alone with Lucas, and I can tell it's a little stressful. Still, Lucas is adorable (no bias!) and I hate being away from him all day. Fortunately, there are photos of him hanging on all the bulletin boards at work so I get to see him whenever I go back for coffee (which is quite frequent now that I don't sleep for more than 3 or 4 hours at a time!).

One thing I'd like to note is that I don't recognize Lucas. For the longest time, I had no idea what to expect when he finally arrived, yet somehow, I always thought I'd recognize him. Not the case. Some say he's got my eyes or nose, but I just don't see it. He seems like a completely unique and different human being from either of us. And this is a good thing! Just unexpected. It's amazing to me that from Danielle's and my combined DNA, a completely new person has been created. I can't wait to get to know him better! I already wonder if he'll be good at sports or math or singing or writing. I want to hear his voice and experience his sense of humor. I wonder if he'll be good with girls or public speaking or science or art. I just don't know! And that makes it hard to be a father because I want to nurture whatever innate skills and predispositions he has, but I don't know what they are! What if he wants to be an actor?! Or a dancer?!?

Still, I've got some time to think about it. Meanwhile, I love experiencing each new baby milestone like when he tries out a new sound or flails his arms in a slightly more coordinated manner. Already he follows us pretty closely with his eyes, and when I hold up his pacifier at the right distance, he opens his mouth... sort of. Could just be coincidence ;-)

This week's big ordeal is he's got a little baby acne breakout. As someone who STILL deals with the affliction on a regular basis, I hope my greatest genetic contribution is not his oily skin, but the doctor says he should regain his baby soft face soon enough. On the other hand, the doctor says he has quite a great looking butt. I wasn't exactly sure how to take this, but let's just say I'll keep a very close eye on the doctor for a while...

Parental life is exhausting, surprising, and wonderful. There's nothing more satisfying than to have a sleeping baby on your chest or to feed him a bottle while he gazes up at you with his bottomless blue eyes.

The adventure has just begun!

Creating Memories (Dad)

Lately I've been considering all the ways I can document our son's birth along with all the firsts that will occur over the next year. We've purchased a camcorder so that we can easily carry it along to holiday gatherings and other places, so at least we'll capture all the milestones. We even started a video journal for little Wendell, taking some footage of his nursery room and recording a message before he arrives.

But it's so easy to get carried away with this stuff. For example, I considered buying a really nice still camera to take lots of high-quality photos; Danielle has the materials to start scrapbook, to knit scarves, and to create photo montages; and I've even thought about writing short stories from the point of view of an expecting father. There's just no limit to the amount of creative memory-keeping projects you can do! As a self-proclaimed writer, blogger, and movie maker, I feel sort of obligated to use these talents for the sake of my future son... and yet I wonder if it's not possible to go a little overboard.

Perhaps a little scarcity in the photo-taking and movie-making might be healthy. After all, how much more do I cherish the few movies that exist of my childhood because of the paucity of materials! Would I get the same nostalgic chills watching old movies if I had hundreds of hours of it, perfectly preserved? And the end goal is not to commit EVERY moment to film so that nothing is forgotten. Forgetfulness can be a blessing, too!

I suppose, like all things, there's a balance between capturing too many moments on film and too few. It'll be nice to be able to put together collages and montages for special events over the years, but perhaps it removes some of the fun if it's ALWAYS expected. Perhaps childhood is best preserved in our memories where details are provided not through celluoid or other storage media, but through fuzzy, imperfect neural connections which fill in the blanks with magic and wonder.

Things to consider moving forward. After all, the idea is to prepare our son for the future; not to create an immersive past he's afraid of leaving behind.

Appointment and H1N1 vaccine

My appointment last night went pretty well. I met with the final doctor in the practice and he was of the same opinion as the last two... that we can wait this out and should be able to deliver naturally. This made me feel a lot more relaxed. After measuring and feeling my belly, this doctor thinks our boy is just approaching the 9 pound mark now. This is both a relief (I've been afraid that he was already 10 pounds) and also terrifying (for obvious reasons). I still have no progress, of course, but we all know that can change at any time. Our next appointment is scheduled for Monday, when they will also do a stress test since I'll be past my due date at that point, just to make sure baby is doing okay.

Ah the H1N1 flu shot. For a long time I was set against getting it because I was afraid of side effects and because it hadn't been tested very well. But after knowing several people that have had this flu and were miserable, Paul and I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to go ahead and get it. Besides the shot being recommended for pregnant women, it has been pushed towards caretakers and guardians of infants under the age of 6 months. So I found a Walgreen's out by our house that was distributing them today and Paul and I took early lunches and met there at 11:15. Turns out, we were just in time. We got two of the last four vaccines that they had. Whew! We were there for over an hour, but at least they had a place to sit and nice people working there. I think we're both relieved to have that taken care of.

I love the holidays. So many yummy cookies and goodies around the office! I think I'll go have another sugar cookie (because this baby isn't already big enough)! :)

39 and a half weeks (Mom)

We never thought I’d still be pregnant at this point, but here I am, still pregnant and still at work. I’m doing alright though. I’m a little uncomfortable and it’s hard to move around, but other than that I feel really good! But the waiting is taking its toll on me because of the concern over complications. The more time that goes by, the larger the baby gets and the more worried I become about being able to deliver him naturally. The doctors have been great at letting us play it by ear up till this point, and encouraging us to try to do things the way we would prefer to. But even I am starting to get anxious about it now. I just don’t want to make a bad decision that could affect the wellbeing of my son’s life, and the fear increases with each day that passes with no sign of his arrival. I would much rather deal with recovering from a c-section than living with making a bad decision. I go back to the doctor again tonight and am meeting with the last doctor in the practice that I have not seen before. I’m hoping that he will offer us some guidance, or better yet miraculously tell us that we have some progress and can go to the hospital right away to induce!

Work has gotten very boring for me this last week or so. Don’t get me wrong, I am VERY appreciative of the low stress levels that I have these days. Everyone has been absolutely wonderful at letting me ease my way out of doing my regular duties here. Not to mention that they have all been very encouraging and sympathetic as well. But I do feel a little strange being here and not really doing much. I would use vacation time and just go home and work on stuff around the house, but I really need to save all the time I have for my maternity leave. So here I am!

Paul and I have been quite the anti-socialites lately. We have opted to stick with activities that keep us within 30 minutes of the hospital. We have also made sure to do LOTS of relaxing. We have been going to bed early, waking up late and taking lots of naps on the weekends. I think this is something we will greatly appreciate having done once the baby arrives. Paul has also put a new plan in place to keep me cheerful, where every third day that the baby hasn’t come, then Paul and I get to have a date night of some sort. This weekend we went to see the new Disney movie The Princess and the Frog at the theater. It’s been a fun way to take some of the anxiety off of us. And it keeps Paul and I very close which will be a great way to start our life as a family.

Doctor's Update

Hello Again!

I had another doctor's appointment this morning. Baby Bishop still appears to be in no hurry to enter the world. I met with a completely new doctor and he seemed to be of the same mindset as the last one. He said shoulder dystocia is very hard to predict so he doesn't see it being a huge concern at this point. He believes the baby is big, but not so big that we need to be worried. He did say that if we are concerned and want a c-section, then we can go ahead and schedule one, but he also thought that if we'd prefer a natural birth that there should be no problem with that.

I go back to the doctor again on Monday. At that point we will just reassess again to see what the best option is.

Again, I'm just hoping to go into labor on my own and as soon as possible.

Love,
Danielle & Paul

The Waiting Game (Mom)

The whole "nesting" thing is absolutely not a myth. The funny thing is, it seems to have hit Paul as much as it has hit me. The two of us just keep coming up with one project after another to work on around the house. The house is getting very organized and very clean. I think it makes us both feel happy to be at home when things are in such nice order! Plus, we put some very nice finishing touches up in the nursery! :)

Paul had a great idea to do a little video journal for our son before he arrives. So yesterday we set up the camera in the nursery and talked to our baby boy. It was pretty cool, and I'm very glad that we did it! Good idea Dada! :)

I'm getting extremely anxious for our boy to arrive. Less out of discomfort (although it's true that is a factor as well) than concern though. Since they were worried that he was going to be a big baby two weeks ago, every day that goes by means he has had a chance to get bigger, increasing the risks of problems trying to give birth naturally. It just makes it harder knowing that we might have to make a decision about how to handle this best. I go back to the doctor on Wednesday and I'm really hoping that they will green light inducing me on Thursday if the baby hasn't come by then. We shall see I guess.

Come on baby boy, you're making your mommy worry!

38 Weeks (Mom)

Since our little guy can come anytime now, Paul and I decided that we needed one last nice date night together. So last night we went out to Maggiano's and had a lovely dinner. The food was great, the restaurant was decorated so pretty for Christmas, and we just had a really good time together. I'm very glad we had a chance to do that before our baby arrives.

A new pattern has begun at work. When I leave work at night, I just say, "Good-night, I hope I don't see you tomorrow!" And every day I show up to work, everyone smiles and says, "still here huh?" and gives me a sympathetic look. My work has all been reassigned to Jackie and Julie for my maternity leave. The changes went into effect starting this past Monday so that I would be around to answer any questions as they came up. It's a good plan. So I have finished up pretty much all of my outstanding projects this week, which is great! But now I kind of feel like a paperweight and I'm not really sure what to do with myself here. I just answer questions if they come up and then wait around for the next one. But with how tired I am these days, it's really nice to be so unstressed at work.

I'm having some contractions, but they're pretty irregular. They started as I was leaving work last night. But then they stopped all together aside from a couple that I felt in the middle of the night. I just keep hoping that they're at least helping to make some progress. They're back again this morning, so hopefully they're more than just Braxton Hicks. Only time will tell I guess.

In my head, I play over and over again how I'll tell Paul that it's "time" all day long. I just can't wait to tell him that it's time to go have our baby!

Oh Baby... (Mom)

Okay my dear little one... I love you and I am so glad I have gotten to experience this whole pregnancy thing, but you really need to come out now.

Doctor's update today!

Hello Again Everyone!

Went back to the doctor this morning. Baby Bishop doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to get here, but we all know that can change in a day (I have to tell myself this not to freak out that he won't come out). :) I met with a different doctor in the practice this morning and he seemed to think that I had no greater risk than anyone else for having to deal with shoulder dystocia. He thought that if we preferred having a natural birth then we should go ahead and try for one. We can always change our minds if we still have no progress or get concerned.

So again we are here hoping that I will go into labor on my own… and the sooner the better!

Thanks for your continued support and prayers!

Love,
Danielle & Paul

November 25th Update

Good Morning Family & Friends!

We went in this morning for our 37 week ultrasound to see how the baby is measuring. Again we were told that he is measuring ahead of schedule, though not quite as far along as before. They think he is already at the 7 lb. 10 oz. mark. My doctor called me shortly after our ultrasound to go over the findings. She is concerned about something called “shoulder dysplasia” because the baby is so large, especially in the belly (so he’s a little chunker!). From what I understand, if you deliver naturally with a baby that is measuring this way, there is a chance of this problem. The baby’s head comes out fine, but then they have trouble getting the rest of the baby out. This can cause permanent damage to his shoulders and it can also cut off his oxygen. It often leads to an emergency C-section or other complications in the delivery room.

So we may have some decisions to make. They can schedule a c-section for one week before my due date. Or they can schedule to induce one week before my due date. (And with inducing, there is a greater chance of having to do an emergency c-section anyway).

We are of course concerned with the situation, but not completely freaked out. The best possible thing that we can see happening at this point is if I went into labor NOW on my own. My doctor said if that happens, she doesn’t think we would have a problem at this point.

Please keep our little guy in your prayers and also that we will be able to make the best decision possible if we need to.

In the meantime, we have attached the latest pictures of our little man! :) Enjoy!

Love,
Danielle & Paul

Breastfeeding and Other Awkward Activities (Dad)

Just a foreword, instead of having to decide between writing "breasts" or "boobs" or "bazookas" throughout the following description, I think I'll just abbreviate the term as "BB". It doesn't really stand for anything. It's just a lot less embarrassing to type than, say, "jahooblies" or "kazangas" or "nunga-nungas."

Anyway, let's continue. So last night we went--

Wamjanglers!

Sorry, just had to get that last one out of my system. As I was saying, last night we attended the last of our five prenatal courses, and I'm glad we took it last. After seeing birth videos and baby crash test videos and baby choking videos, watching a mother with rather misshapen assets attempt to nurse her child didn't even make me flinch. I mean, it was basically a two-hour introduction to every single shape and size of BBs one can imagine. What I never realized before is that it's so complicated. In retrospect, it makes a lot of sense. Little babies have certain instincts that will help, but ultimately, the mother has to make herself compatible with his particular nursing habits. To demonstrate why a class exploring one of the most natural events in life was so awkward, I'll just say that the instructor's advice for helping a small baby nurse was to "squish the BB like you would a sandwich so that the baby can get it in his mouth."

First of all, I would just like to say that I don't squish my sandwiches. And sandwiches come in all shapes and sizes. Do we squish the BB like a subway sandwich which is kind of round? Or do we squish it like a grilled cheese which is very flat? Be specific, Lady!

So maybe it would have been more helpful to say something to the effect of "you need to squeeze your BB so that it flattens out like an Almond Hersheys bar." Almond Hershey bars are ALWAYS the same size. That's what's so cool about them. Or she could have even said something like, "flatten your BB so that it assumes the approximate shape and size of a Chipotle quesadilla with meat and cheese only and not even those leftover little lettuce bits that always get on my quesadilla from the guy's burrito before me". THAT would have been much more understandable to me.

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough about breastfeeding. I'm sure we're better for taking it. I know Danielle will do just fine. So yay, classes all done. Time to put our education into practice.

Oh, and one more thing...

Badoinkies!

Under a Month! (Dad)

Our countdown timer is under the one month mark now - 30 days to be exact. And that doesn't take into account the doctor's recent prediction that our son may come closer to December 4th than the 17th. That's two and a half weeks away! Either way, Danielle and I are in hardcore nesting mode now. The house is pretty much ready, particularly the nursery and guest rooms which look to get quite a bit of use this winter.

Danielle has packed her hospital bag and I just need to add a couple of my own things, but the important thing is, she's ready. I still would like to take a video of her stomach moving before it's too late. I never want to forget how cool it is to see our little guy sticking his hands and feet up against mama's uterine wall. And let's be honest - Danielle just wears that belly like nobody's business! I need to document that for future generations who fail to believe that pregnant and sexy are not mutually exclusive.

Lately Junior and I have been playing the flashlight game. Danielle's belly is stretched thinly enough that when I shine a light against it, the baby sees and reacts to it. This is a wonderful experience for two reasons: 1) it means the baby can see!; and 2) it means the baby can react! I briefly considered teaching our boy Morse code but then decided this was silly, again for two reasons: 1) nobody knows Morse code any more; and 2) my son's first two languages have already been agreed upon: English and C++. I want to have the world's first computer programming toddler. Anyway, the flash light game is the first of many games I anticipate over the next 18 years until our son ultimately rejects us and moves to Southern California to pursue a career in post-modern film and surfing.

Danielle and I have gotten a jump on Christmas shopping for the year so that we don't have to waddle through the crowded stores come Christmas time (or even worse, tote a two-week old around). This has been an eye-opening experience for a procrastinator like myself. I didn't know you were allowed to do your Christmas shopping early! But what a novel idea to try to have all our presents bought and wrapped by Thanksgiving! Danielle's been far more successful than I have, but still, even having one present bought before December 20th is progress for me.

Anyway, here comes the homestretch! This is where the Lamaze (what I remember of it) and the yoga (which we've only done once) and all the books (I skimmed a couple of them) should come in handy. In one month from now, if all goes well, we're going to have a little baby.

Yay!/Yikes!
Paul

Braxton Hicks (Mom)

So... had a little excitement yesterday. I started having Braxton Hicks contractions, which I've had in the past, but I was suddenly able to feel them. It was just a slight discomfort. So I started tracking them only to find that I had 5 in an hour, which is more than I should be getting. So I called the doctor's office and spoke to a nurse. She told me that it was probably nothing to worry about but that it might be a sign that I was doing too much. She told me to go home and lay down and drink lots of water and then track them again. So I did that, and they got better. I was still having them, but they had slowed down substantially.

I think I've got everyone on high alert now. haha Good practice run though!

A Star Is Born - Baby Shower (Mom)

Carly, Ashley & Mom threw us a FABULOUS baby shower!!! (Thank you!!!) They kept the theme a surprise until we arrived... "A Star Is Born". What an appropriate theme for us... all about movies! (Because we all know that this child is going to be a star in many a film that we make)! :) There were balloons and stars hung everywhere!

We were in the Mallard Room (again, how appropriate for me) at the Mill Race Inn in Geneva. An entire wall of the room was made up of windows overlooking the Fox River. It was so pretty! And we couldn't have asked for better weather... it was in the 70's in November! We had such a good turnout of people... family and friends and people we love! Philip had also put together a slide show of all our maternity pictures for display that turned out so nice. It was such a fun day!

Here are some pictures:

We Have a Daycare (Mom)

On my way to work this morning, I dropped off a deposit at the daycare we decided to go with. It feels good to have this taken care of. Paul and I both felt very comfortable at this place. It reminds both of us of our childhood schools. And we have had good feelings about all of the people that we have met so far. I think our baby boy will get lots of attention, be loved and well taken care of at this place. And that's what matters the most. So as much as I still don't want to leave him with someone else, I feel good about our choice.

Danielle's Surprise Work Shower (Mom)

When I got to work today, I had a busy morning ahead, but it looked like the afternoon was shaping up to be slower paced and more relaxing, just the way you want a Friday afternoon to be. But then, it started. The guys kept bringing me these ridiculous projects and telling me that they were in a huge hurry for it. So I ended up taking a really late lunch at which point I was no longer hungry. Then I went back to my desk and spent the afternoon desperately trying to keep up with the strange requests.

Then all the laundry guys started making their way to the training room talking about a meeting they were having. And then a few minutes later, Brad pops around the corner and says, "Hey Danielle, we're going to have a little training going on in here and I was hoping you could come and take notes for us." So I found a notebook and pen and made my way back to the training room. The door had been shut behind him so I opened it, and lo and behold, there were all of my coworkers in a fully decorated room!

And of course I stared crying right away because it was so sweet! The room was decorated so nicely... tablecloths on all the tables, balloons and streamers all around!

And then I noticed Paulie hiding behind the girls! Aww! He kept the secret from me and the girls were able to sneak him into the office without me knowing!

So we spent the next couple of hours eating pizza and chips and dip. And there were shower games... guess how many kisses are in the giant baby bottle and guess that baby food! haha The guys were very good sports considering this was the first ever baby shower for most of them and most of them have no experience with baby food.

After games, they gave us lots of wonderful presents! A pack and play, diaper genie with refills, car seat base, and portable high chair! Then they had an ice cream sundae bar (do they know me or what!) for dessert. :)

It was a wonderful shower! Here are some pictures...

Me walking in the door:


I remember saying "you can't do this to a pregnant girl" (because I was crying... and pregnancy makes you super emotional) and Brad started laughing and gave me a hug


Aww, Paulie was there! That made me very happy!


The baby food game! Done the manly way... with plenty of beer to wash down any yucky tasting foods.




Opening presents


The office gals! Jackie, Me, Julie, Loretta


Me and Paulie

The Scene Is Clear (Mom)

Last night Paul and I took a class at the hospital for infant CPR. We were happy to find out when we arrived that they actually taught us CPR and choking procedures for Adults, Children and Infants. While it's scary to think about, it does make me feel good to know what you're supposed to do in those sorts of situations.

In other news my dreams keep getting stranger. The most frequent baby dream I have is that I forget to feed the baby! Then a couple of nights ago I dreamed that I was being chased by transformers up a rocky mountain side and I was trying to protect Kiowa. Then we met back up with Paul in an ocean side tent village where we kept running from the transformers. Yeah.

32 Weeks (Mom)

32 Weeks

Pregnancy Observations: Pregnancy has this magical effect on people around you... it makes everyone really friendly and eager to help! Strangers strike up conversations with me everywhere I go these days. I've had offers to let me cut in line at grocery stores, people holding elevators, strangers offering to help me carry things, etc. This is something that I think I will really miss. :)

I'm quickly learning how to ask for help. This has been challenging for me in a lot of ways. I like being able to do everything for myself. It's humbling to have to ask someone to get something off of a shelf because I shouldn't be on a step ladder, or asking someone to carry something that normally I wouldn't have a problem with. But the fact of the matter is, it is getting difficult to do some of my every day things and I do need the help. I'm thankful to have so many people around me that understand this and completely insist on doing things for me. Like at work yesterday, I was just asking people to walk papers around the office for me because my ankles were hurting and swollen and I wanted to stay in my chair with my feet up as much as possible. And Paul took me for a walk through our neighborhood the other night and it took us twice as long as it usually does because I just can't move very fast! haha

I'm still feeling great... just moving a lot slower and having some soreness and swelling. Things I can totally deal with! But it makes me even more eager for our little boy to arrive!

Nesting, Dad-Style (Dad, of course)

Danielle and I are in full-blown baby preparation mode. Painting the nursery is an obvious example of this, but that's just the first phase. We've also purchased (or "invested" as the saleslady kept saying) in a king-size bed for ourselves. This accomplishes at least two things: 1) When the baby decides to try out his new lungs some late, winter night, we can now move him into a bassinet in the center of our bed comfortably; and 2) When family or friends come to visit, they can now stay in the queen bed set that we transferred from the master bedroom into the guest room. Of course, there's also just a sense that our home is starting to feel more cozy. More ours. We've painted three of the four bedrooms now, so each has our own personal flavor. We've got three beds total in the house and a queen air mattress to accommodate guests when we entertain, or, in a few years, when our kids have slumber parties.

To top it all off, Danielle has already finished much of her Christmas shopping, two months in advance! She has wisely deduced that she will not be able to perform our traditional last-minute shopping spree during the holiday season due to her not-so-travel-friendly belly and has been proactive in getting it done while she still can. Atta girl!

As for me, I'm wrapping up some things I needed to get done prior to baby time. I've completed a couple of jigsaw puzzles in recent weeks. I'm nearly done with the entire "Star Trek: The Next Generation" television series. You know, the important stuff. More importantly, I'm preparing myself mentally by re-reading old children's books and watching cartoons. I'm trying to determine whether we should break out the Star Wars toys in the first year or wait until he's gained a full appreciation for that galaxy far, far away. I've got a couple months to figure that important question out. I'm sure I'll manage.

And that's about all I can think of. Operation Baby Maker has just about come to fruition. I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge my wonderful teammate, Danielle, who has pretty much done at least as much as I have during this time of waiting. When our little bundle of joy finally arrives, she'll deserve at least half the credit.

Daddy Out!



Too bad he won't be around for Halloween this year!